


Red High Heels

by startrekto221B



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/F, Femlock, Joanna Watson is an intern at a newspaper, Sherlock Holmes is Miss United Kingdom
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 12:47:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4222266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/startrekto221B/pseuds/startrekto221B
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joanna Watson is an intern at the Daily Mail forced to cover this year's Miss World pageant where she meets Miss United Kingdom, the international beauty queen and at least slightly morally ambiguous Sherlock Holmes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Red High Heels

Joanna Watson hated beauty pageants. She had always hated them. The concept for one thing, it stood for raw objectification of women, it was run on ads that supported the disgusting amount of commercialization in today’s society, and it encouraged totally unhealthy standards among the young girls of today. But also because watching the telecasts of Miss World were among the few times that she had to admit, when it came down to it, she was a little bit gay.

It was not her job, however, to voice personal distaste when she was asked to cover the pageant by the newspaper’s managing editor. She was just an intern. And she had repeated the intern’s mantra to herself time and time again as it had been preached to her by said managing editor Kevin Harmann: _I don’t have an opinion, I’m always on time, Do you want coffee?_ God she hated him. If she didn’t love journalism so much she might kill him. If she had to keep taking jobs like covering the pageant she’d definitely kill him.

Not that there wasn’t a considerably amount of glamour to this particular job. After all, covering the pageant for The Daily Mail meant she could fly business class to New York. She got an insider pass at all the events, where she was assured the food was great. And of course insider access to all the contestants. The only thing missing here, she observed, was an actual story. Damn. The boys on the paper were all jealous of course. But Mr. Harmann didn’t trust any of them to talk to any of those international beauties too long without salivating. Maybe if Joanna had mentioned that she was just a little bit, occasionally gay, then could she have got Martin’s job investigating the new government in Cairo? It was a thought.

As she sat in her wonderful business class chair, and got ready to commit to a nice long nap, during which she hoped her subconscious mind would dream up a way to strangle Mr. Harmann without anyone noticing, she was rudely interrupted.

“Are you an intern at The Daily Mail or The Post?” a woman with rich dark hair asked.

“You’re Miss United Kingdom!” Joanna straightened up immediately.

“I do have a name as well,” she said drily, “My mother didn’t birth me and exclaim. She’s here Siger. Miss United Kingdom Holmes.”

“Sherlock Holmes,” Joanna said, correlating the name next to the list of pictures she had in her file, “I remember. But how do you know me?”

“I don’t know I saw. Your hands, writers calluses. Old fashioned then, like to do things with pencil first. Ink stain on your left sleeve too. So you print stuff out too. Stuff that you didn’t write. When they offered coffee you smiled really smugly, you’re used to fetching it.  Someone else’s intern then. Journalism, your pass is tucked under your shirt. Only two papers shallow enough to send someone to full time cover a beauty pageant in England are The Daily Mail and The Post. Easy, breezy, beautiful.” Sherlock smiled, and it was dazzling, and Joanna took a strategic pause, that last thing she had said, of course, Sherlock was the brand ambassador for Covergirl.

“That was—amazing, it was—“ Joanna said immediately.

“Not what people usually say,” Sherlock reclined her seat.

“What do they usually say?” Joanna asked, wondering whether she should write this down, it was after all, something of an informal interview, and Sherlock knew she was press.

“With tits like those why the hell do you need to be that clever?” Sherlock sighed, “People are dull.”

Joanna didn’t know what to respond on the subject of tits, so she settled instead on opening her file and reading through names and pictures again. Sherlock meanwhile settled in her spot, covering her eyes with a black lacey mask. In the meantime Joanna googled her. If Sherlock knew all about her, the least she could do was keep up.

Oh yes, she remembered. A few years before. Myra Holmes, the redheaded bombshell had won Miss World and went on to model and star in quite a few B-grade films. Sherlock was her younger sister. Miss Teen UK. Brand ambassador for Covergirl, Lancome, and Dior. Private, expensive all-girl schools. Interests: dancing, violin performance. Eye color: blue. Height: 5 9”. Hair color: black. Certainly not the favorite to win, but could take the victory crown nevertheless. Interesting, if purely from a journalistic perspective, Joanna thought. It was all stupid anyway, this pageant business. She could hardly wait until it was over. She didn’t particularly care who won either. Be it this year’s favorite Miss Ireland Jamie Moriarty, last year’s runner up Miss America Irene Adler, or raven haired Sherlock Holmes. Miss United Kingdom.

 ***

“That stuff you said to me on the plane,” Joanna asked, “Would you be—“

“Publish it, by all means, all publicity is good publicity, just take out the part about tits, would you?” Sherlock said absentmindedly as she hurried off the plane, “We’re staying at the Marriott right?”

“Right,” Joanna pulled her carry on quickly and struggled to catch up.

“If you’re going to do a profile on me, try to mention how vivacious I am. They love that word. It’s this year’s buzz word. Last year’s was sweet. But no. No more flowery girls anymore. They want the real deal. Just as well.” Sherlock said as they made their way to customs.

“Well I have nothing to declare,” Joanna said.

“Well, I do, wait with me,” Sherlock filled out the form, clutching the pen cap in her mouth.

“Why should I wait with you?” Joanna asked as Sherlock finished.

After taking her own sweet time filling out the form and depositing it Sherlock made a blunt reply, “I was hoping to take advantage of you during our time here.”

Seeing Joanna’s blush she quickly corrected herself, “Not like that. It’s just. I’ll be direct. You’re sort of. Well girl next door. Blonde. Cute. Whatever. The more pictures they take of us together the sexier I’m bound to look. Trick of the trade, good coat, plain friend.”

“I am not plain!” Joanna snapped, “And I’ve about had it with you. You beauty queens are all the same anyway—empty headed…”

“Hey,” Sherlock caught her wrist, “I could run circles around you…”

“Oh fat chance,” Joanna laughed, “I work at newspaper. What do you do?”

“Earn thousands of pounds by letting people take pictures of my face, and spend my enormous amount of free time doing whatever I like.” Sherlock snapped back.

“And what is it that you like?”

“You’re press.”

“It’s probably something else to do with your face. Modelling. Or acting or—“

Sherlock leaned so close to her face that Joanna could see the mascara that coated her eyelashes, “I solve murders.”

“What?” Joanna asked, genuinely shocked.

“Don’t quote me.”

***

**_The Daily Mail – An Intern’s Blog_ **

_ First Impressions--Miss World 2015 _

_By Joanna Watson_

_If you’ve never been to a beauty pageant, and I’ll confess this is my first time as well, you’re probably expecting that it’s unbelievably glamorous, beautiful women all around and great food and grand parties everywhere. I’m here to tell that’s not the case. Most of the women who’ve come to compete stay indoors most of the time, so as not to damage their well maintained skintones, and more often than not between runners fetching makeup, electricians lighting up the stage, and personal managers with their lackeys you come to realize that the pageant isn’t really about beauty at all. It’s an industry. It’s a show. Pageant director Marcia Allen remarked to me that pageants were “almost a sport in that sense”, leading me to think that maybe the biggest players aren’t the women at all, but the corporate sponsors, the big brand names that dictate the rules._

_Nevertheless, you’re here to read about the women, as an insider calls it “the sexy face” of a “messy” show. And I’ve seen to it that you won’t be disappointed. I’ll start with the favorites._

_1)_ _Jamie Moriarty (21), Country: Ireland, Height: 6 0”_

_There’s something about her smile, so mischievous it borders on criminal. A relative newcomer to the business. Major corporate sponsorships include: Fiat, Cartier, Gucci and Lacoste. Considered a “fiery” beauty, with her straight reddish brown hair and heart shaped face._

_ _

_2)_ _Irene Adler (23), Country: United States of America, Height: 5 7”_

_The lady in black. So new to the business that she has almost no corporate sponsorships excepting a few lingerie brands. Not expected to have won at the country level (originally Miss Indiana). Here she’s being described as “sultry” and “undeniably sexual”._

_ _

 

 _3)_ _Suparna Singh (20), Country: India, Height: 5 8”_

_The Rose. Always blushing. India has always done really well at these things, historically and this year is no exception. Having done small acting jobs in Indian TV serials before this Suparna already has a large fan following in her native country._

_ _

_The ones to watch for:_

_1)_ _Alexandra Verlaskowa (22), Country: Russia, Height: 6 1”_

_The “Ice Queen” they call her. One of the tallest here._

_ _

_2)_ _Sherlock Holmes (19), Country: United Kingdom, Height 5 9”_

_Younger sister of Myra Holmes. Youngest contestant this year, but don’t underestimate her. Likes to be known as “vivacious” (that’s a Daily Mail exclusive)_

_ _

 

 

 

 


End file.
